"Viewer's Poll Results." / "Bieber Ain't In It." / "Two Classic Motifs." / "Mace Store Days."

As an interactive feature of the season, A&E experimented with having viewers' polls for the discerning yeoman-farmer-citizen advocate of reality TV. This was one of the questions.

Who ("apart from Dog") would you want on your team?

LELAND           42%
BETH                 29%
BABY LYSSA  17%
DUANE LEE     12%

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Dog's words of homespun backseat wisdom, Part 473:

"If you'd been married you would of been okay. You can push around yer legal old lady. You can smash her face in and steal her clothes. Hell you can put on her silk panties and her finest dresses if it suits you. It's a free country and marriage is a wonderful institution my brah."

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Justin Bieber obviously refused to appear on Dog the Bounty Hunter. He clearly calculated, no doubt correctly, that it was beneath him at the current point of his blazing orbit. In the episode where Dog's daughter or granddaughter or stepdaughter went to see Bieber in concert, Dog (accidentally wrote "Fog") was furiously wheeler-dealing to contrive an onscreen meeting between these two legends of scraping all the hair from the back of their heads to the front. You could almost hear the disembodied Bieber whining to his agent: "Do I have to?"
"No. And hopefully you will never fall so low as to have to."

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Two Classic Motifs.

1. Even when they force the perp to give himself up through mean coercion they try to act like it is a trap.

2. The "Court Date Mix-Up":

    The PERP: "I thought my court date was on the 23rd."
     LELAND: "It was on the 27th of May.
     PERP:  Oh really? Damn.

     This after a day-long chase.

      The most audacious gambit in the history of jurisprudence was in the episode where a perp took out a restraining order on the judge due to sentence him.

"Mace Store Days."

      Dog: "I need a can of mace. Let's go to the mace store."
      As Chekhov observed, a loaded dueling pistol seen hanging on the wall in Act One must be used most resolutely in  a succeeding Act.
      This episode didn't end with the customary redemption scene, but with Dog growling, "Get this scum away from me!"
       Leland was hailed as the hero of the day, although when first seen he was reeling about an empty lot groaning "I'm blind!"

Dog:  Keeps saying "Aloha" to people in Colorado.