Anecdotes of The Crack Shots

Dear Subscriber,

DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU EVEN CASUALLY THAT "DOG" IS "GOD" BACKWARDS???!

In his morning pep talk Dog began with this:--

"We know he [to wit, the perp] smokes the-- what is the brand, Bobby?"

BOBBY BROWN: Bronco.

"--Bronco. And that is the cheap-- the cheap cigarettes."

Dog says this like he is suddenly going to change his whole methodology, he is now going to don his deerstalker cap and take out his pipe and magnifying glass and refer to LELAND henceforth as "Watson."

I go to my wife, "Whaddiz thizss, Sherlock Holmes?" and she guffawed appreciatively.

I note this only because she laughs at my cracks so rarely that when it happens it really is worthy of note.

(Can you imagine a more pathetic life; an inveterate wiseacre married to the Bride of Frankenstein?

I'M DIGRESSING---- )

It was amusing because seldom ever does Dog resort to classic detective motifs. I'd complained last week that Dog seemed compromised - "whipped like the cur he is" was my phrase I believe. I called him a puppy - a kitten even - but now he is back to his mackinest rip-roaring half-horse half-canine best. He is eating flaming cigarettes; he is telling Beth to clam up and shut down; he swears like the living incarnation of the Deevil. Leland punched the fucking blood out of a motel proprietor on his own forecourt in the latest episode and I rewound eagerly, hungrily to watch the actual physical violence again.

Leland is a tightly wound spring waiting to explode.

Did I mention that he is my favourite character?

Although I also like Duane Lee cause he don't do a thing and he don't give a hoot.

There was a great scene at the end where they were fishing and Dog goes, "Duane Lee won't bet on a rematch, cause he never bets when it aint' a sure thing."

I thought: "Like me."

Anyway, in the end they did track the villain down purely by following a trail of cigarette butts. This was a personal victory for Dog, because it vanquished his enemies and critics who say that he is all pompodour and no cranium. People laugh at Dog and say that his elaborate Marie Antoinette beehive is all designed to cover up the vast and empty tundra at the rear of his pate, but I say these people are irreverent irrelevant haterz.

On Dog the Bounty Hunter you get to see a level of living seldom seen on teevee. The low-lying crack fuck crook tumbleweed living in cracks and creeks and seams-- and motels. Dog goes, "Sometimes you go to these motels and this is what happens."

Beth said, "There's a lot of these kind of hotel rooms. Scary environment. There's all these windows, all these doors. People hanging everywhere."

I thought of the Poe story, "The Man of the Crowd," written when urban environments - as we know them today (oppressive, sinister, overwhelming, alienating) - sifted into the popular mythology. Then I thought of that scene in Kurosawa's Stray Dog when Toshiro Mifune is chasing down the man who stole his pisstol through black market postwar Tokyo.

I'm comparing Dog the Bounty Hunter to Poe and Kurosawa - yes.

What of it.

"My tale is done; there runs a mouse; whosoever catches it, may make himself a big fur cap out of it."